"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will." - Vince Lombardi
I recently found myself on the brink of giving up.
For months, I spent working on starting a podcast focused on helping the everyday person "be better" and ultimately give them a voice to guide their own lives and journey. It was a great idea, but time and effort were my biggest hurdles. After a soft launch and armed with zero expectations, I slowly made my way. With each episode, I tweaked my approach and started getting more comfortable in a podcast setting, and slowly—very slowly—started reaching new ears.
With that came collaboration opportunities and working with more people. But then came the plateau of hard work and what seemed like no grand results. What I call "the comfort of known expectations." As interesting, challenging, and diverse as each day was, I became comfortable within the chaos.
Shortly after season one wrapped, I decided to take a break.
What was supposed to be a two-month break quickly turned into 3, 4, 5 months… The momentum I painstakingly built was gone. Life was happening around me, and I struggled to pick the mic up again. Each week that went by, I told myself, "next week," and next week, and next week. I was in my comfort zone and lacked the drive to continue and only realised what was happening when one day I thought: maybe I shouldn't do this. It's been too long. I don't have the energy. I don't feel like it. I should just "give up."
You see, despite being a mindset and mental performance coach, despite all the training, despite my psychology background, I too felt like giving up at that moment. I was on the brink of throwing in the proverbial towel. I battled, but you know, I didn't.
Here's what I did that hopefully can help you too:
CONTEXT
As a mental performance coach, I often come across and work with people who are ready to abandon their goals at the first sign of adversity. They believed they weren't strong enough, smart enough, or deserving enough to overcome the challenges they faced. This mindset created a world within themselves—a self-fulfilling prophecy, preventing them from being "better" and becoming their potential.
Has this happened to you?
Perhaps you've postponed your dreams because the journey seems too daunting. Or maybe you think: it's too late! If so, you're not alone. Many of us face moments when giving up feels like the only option, a way to eliminate the discomfort. But it's these moments of doubt that are actually opportunities for growth. As you go through, and not around, the discomfort, you start building this thing we call resilience.
Resilience isn't just about overcoming physical challenges; it applies to every aspect of life, including work, personal projects, and relationships.
The challenges of giving up include:
Missing out on personal growth opportunities that come from overcoming obstacles.
Losing sight of your initial motivation and passion.
Developing a pattern of quitting that can affect multiple areas of life and ultimately forms your identity.
When I had thoughts of giving up the podcast, I allowed myself to acknowledge that feeling and not push it away as if it didn't exist. I sat with that discomfort to figure out why I felt that way—not just once, but regularly. Even when I didn't have the answers, the thought ruminating in my mind allowed me to create clarity over time. With clarity came answers, and from answers, an action plan.
Your character and mindset are built with each decision you make.
When you feel like giving up, sit with that thought for a moment. With time, shift your focus from giving up to pushing through.
THE METHOD
To build resilience and overcome the urge to give up, consider these three key strategies:
Slow Down and Take a Moment: When the urge to quit strikes, pause and take a deep breath. This simple act can provide much-needed perspective and prevent rash decisions.
Dedicate Daily Reflection Time: Set aside 10-15 minutes each day for quiet contemplation. Use this time to gather your thoughts and reconnect with your goals. Even doing nothing is doing something.
Ask Yourself Powerful Questions: During your reflection time, pose these essential questions:
Why did I start this journey?
Why am I struggling right now?
Why does this matter to me?
The goal isn't to stress over finding perfect answers. It's about kickstarting your thought process and planting seeds for future clarity.
REAL-LIFE EXAMPLE
Did I give up? No.
Season 2 is still on the way. The difference is remembering my why—why I started the podcast, who I'm helping, and why I enjoyed it. I realised it wasn't just about starting another "podcast"; it was about proving to myself that I could commit to a long-term goal.
I had an epiphany: my struggle wasn't a sign of failure, but a necessary part of growth. I started seeing each difficult moment as an opportunity to build mental toughness.
CHALLENGE
So this week, when you feel like giving up on a goal, a project, or even a person, implement the daily reflection practice:
Set aside 15 minutes each day for quiet contemplation.
Ask yourself the three key questions: Why did you start? Why are you struggling? Why does it matter?
Don't stress about finding immediate answers. Focus on the process of reflection itself.
As you do this, start noticing how it feels to reconnect with your initial motivation. Reflect on any new insights or perspectives you gain from this practice.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Sometimes giving up is an option. But that's when all options have been exhausted.
Often though, the urge to give up signals that you're on the brink of a breakthrough. It's in these moments of doubt that we encounter our greatest opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Your journey isn't defined by the absence of struggles but by your determination to keep moving forward despite them.
Until next time,
Oliver
Mental Performance Coach
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