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Writer's pictureOliver Bukasa

Be Your Own Hero: The Art of Self-Reliance

Updated: Jan 1


Illustration of multiple versions of a man in a suit, showcasing the concept of self-reliance and personal growth

It's an ever-changing and stressful world, and with that, it can be difficult to know what the future holds for you. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a solopreneur, or someone simply looking to develop yourself, the journey towards self-reliance and achieving your goals can often feel like an uphill battle.


However, it is during these challenging times that you have the opportunity to build your resilience and develop the skills necessary to overcome any challenges that come your way.


Story time

So this week, let me introduce you to Joshua. Joshua was a relatively successful entrepreneur who had spent the last few years building his business from the ground up. You see, Joshua was known for his determination and hard work, but when COVID hit, he started facing a series of ongoing setbacks, and unfortunately, everything began to change.


First, he lost his biggest client, then his top employee left due to limited work, and gradually he saw his profits dwindle. Joshua began to feel like a failure and seriously wondered if it was time to throw in the towel.


On one particular day, while browsing through a local bookstore, Joshua stumbled on a book on resilience. He was intrigued by the idea that resilience was a skill that could be developed and began to read and watch everything he could on the topic. With each new insight, he gained a deeper understanding of how to develop resilience and bounce back from adversity.


What Joshua did next was key. He started implementing these strategies into his life and his business. Over time, Joshua began to notice a remarkable shift in himself and his approach to work. He became more confident, optimistic, and empowered. Although it took time, his business started to pick up once again, and he even began to take on new and exciting projects that he never thought were possible before.


before we begin...

It's true, Joshua's story focuses on the positives. And in life you often find yourself taking two steps forward, a couple back and a few sideways. But through Joshua's story, we can see the power of building resilience and the impact it can have on our personal and professional lives.

So in this week's letter, we'll explore what resilience is and why it's so important, as well as provide practical tips and strategies to help you develop this critical skill. Whether you're facing a difficult challenge right now or simply want to strengthen your ability to navigate life's ups and downs, this letter is for you.


So let's dive in…


the art of self-reliance: not just a means to an end

The art of self-reliance is not just a means to an end, but a life-changing mindset. When faced with life's many obstacles, it's easy to become overwhelmed and lose sight of your goals. But at its core, self-reliance is about trusting yourself and your abilities, and having the courage to pursue your dreams even when others doubt you. It's about having the resilience to bounce back from setbacks and challenges, while being in control of your own destiny without letting external circumstances dictate your life.


That's the definition. Self-reliance isn't just about being completely independent or never asking for help. Rather, it's about being able to rely on yourself when you need to and having the confidence to seek out help when necessary. Building self-reliance is anything but straightforward and easy. It requires discipline, perseverance, and a willingness to step out and stay out of your comfort zone. It means taking initiative and creating your own opportunities, understanding your strengths and weaknesses, and leveraging them to your advantage.


Most importantly, building self-reliance requires a growth mindset, a willingness to learn and adapt, and the courage to take risks and embrace failure as a means of growth. With self-reliance, you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way, and live a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.


the step back:

There are times when you feel like you're stuck in a rut. Like you can't make progress towards your goals no matter how hard you try. It's a frustrating feeling, but you're not alone. Many people struggle with achieving their goals, whether it's from external factors or a lack of motivation. But there are ways to combat this feeling and build self-reliance.


So, where do you begin? Well, here are 9 practical steps I've put together to help you develop and grow as a person, and become more self-reliant:


1. become self-aware

The first step in becoming mentally self-reliant is to develop a deep understanding of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Take time to reflect on your beliefs and values, and identify any negative patterns that may be holding you back.


Statue of a pensive man, symbolizing self-reflection and self-awareness

To become self-reliant, you need to know who you really are and what you stand for. You need to know exactly what it is you want to achieve. Take some time to reflect on your values and goals, both short-term and long-term. Write them down and refer to them every week or as often as possible. Create a clear sense of your goals and development. When you have a clear sense of what you want to accomplish, you'll be better equipped to make decisions that align with your values.


2. take responsibility of your life

This is something a lot of people struggle with. You need to take responsibility for your life and stop blaming your situation or others for where you are. Acknowledge your situation but focus on taking responsibility.


Take ownership of your life and your decisions. Start taking responsibility for your choices. When you take responsibility, you empower yourself to make positive changes in your life. Learn from the good and bad that come your way. That's one of the most important keys to growth.


3. learn new skills

Many people stop learning after university, and that's a mistake. You need to have the mentality where you're continuously developing yourself and building new skills.


In today's world, it's essential to stay one step ahead to continuously grow, stand out from the crowd, and achieve greatness. Develop your emotional intelligence and communication skills. Learn how to relate, engage, affect and positively influence people.


With the rise of automation and AI, many jobs are becoming obsolete, and new ones are emerging at a rapid pace. Continue to learn even after graduation. By learning and acquiring new skills, you stay ahead of the curve and are better prepared for the future.


The other benefit of learning new skills is that it provides you with a sense of purpose and fulfillment. This is crucial in maintaining mental and emotional resilience. The process of learning itself can be incredibly empowering. Embrace the challenges that come with learning, and be patient with yourself as you develop new skills and abilities.


4. develop a growth mindset

As a reminder, a growth mindset is the belief that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. When you have a growth mindset, you believe that your talents and abilities can be developed and improved upon with practice and effort.


Developing a growth mindset is crucial for becoming self-reliant because it allows you to embrace challenges and failures as opportunities for growth and learning. When you have a growth mindset, you are not afraid to take risks and try new things because you know that even if you fail, you can learn from your mistakes and improve.


So here's how you develop it:

  • Embrace challenges: Don't shy away from difficult tasks or situations. Embrace them as opportunities for growth and learning.

  • Learn from failures: Don't view failures as the end of the road. See them as opportunities to learn and grow.

  • Focus on effort: Instead of focusing solely on outcomes or results, focus on the effort you put in. Celebrate your hard work and dedication.

  • Be open to feedback: Look for feedback from others and be open to constructive criticism. Use it as an opportunity to improve and grow.

  • Develop a love of learning: Embrace a lifelong love of learning and continually seek out new knowledge and skills.


All this takes time and practice. So don't be discouraged if you find yourself slipping from time to time. Instead, use it as an opportunity to stop, reflect and reframe your thinking.


5. take action

Ultimately, the key to becoming self-reliant is taking action. Nothing happens with simply having good intentions. You can read all the self-help books and listen to all the motivational speeches and quotes in the world, but nothing will change unless you take action.


Woman confidently walking in the street with a suitcase, representing the spirit of taking action and being self-reliant in travel and life
Take action and take control of your life

You need action. Start small. Take consistent, deliberate action towards your goals. Break your goals down into manageable tasks and tackle them one at a time. Celebrate your progress and keep moving forward.


By developing a strong sense of self-reliance, you can take control of your life and become the master of your own destiny.


6. Build a strong support system

Contrary to popular belief, self-reliance does not mean you're on your own. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, both personally and professionally. Look for mentors and coaches (such as myself) who can guide you on your journey towards self-reliance. Connect with like-minded people who share your goals and values.


7. Develop a plan

You need a plan to be self-reliant. You can't just wing it and expect growth. You need to do things intentionally. Set clear goals and create a plan to achieve them. Take time to review your progress every regularly (like a Sunday afternoon) and adjust accordingly. Think small goals first and track your progress. Little wins help you stay focused and motivated, even when things get tough.


8. Take care of your physical & mental health

Self-reliance requires both physical and mental strength. Take care of your yourself. Get enough sleep, eat well, and keep your body moving. And don't forget to relax and recharge. Don't neglect self-care.


9. Embrace uncertainty

The last thing to always remember and embrace is that life is full of uncertainty. Setbacks and failures happen. But if you anticipate them, you can use them as opportunities to learn and grow.


The wrap-up

So there you have it. 9 steps to being your own hero and developing self-reliance.


Start following these steps not tomorrow but today. It's not a straight path you're pursuing. It's hard, and requires your full effort, dedication, and mentally breaking away from relying on others. But do this consistently and you'll soon see how it positively affects your personal and professional life.


It's a process, but with patience, perseverance, and a growth mindset, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.



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