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Writer's pictureOliver Bukasa

Be the Creator of Your Life: Not a Victim

Updated: Jan 1


person painting symbolizing personal development and leading your life as a creator instead of a victim

"They did this to me," "This is why I don't trust people!" Do these phrases sound familiar? We've all used such expressions in one form or another at some point in our lives. But have you clung to these words and emotions, holding them close and relying on them to explain your actions and your identity? Do you unconsciously slip into 'victim mode' as a way to cope?


On your journey of personal development, one profound shift can set the course for transformation: that of shifting from a victim to an empowered creator of your life. It's about jumping in the driver's seat and steering your life in the direction you want to go.


So, how do you do it? Let's dive in.


Don't Be a Victim, Be a Creator

Take a moment and imagine you've just started a painting class. Now, in this class, you've been instructed to paint a picture of a beautiful sunset. Instead of trying it on your own, you choose to be a passive observer and ask your tutor to paint this picture for you. With each stroke, the image becomes less about you. You effectively react to each stroke with either despair or delight. With each stroke, you lose control.


Now, imagine this analogy as your life. Are you the artist shaping each stroke intentionally, crafting a masterpiece, or the observer, allowing life to lead you to the unknown?


Look Forward, Not Back

To be a creator, your focus needs to change. You need to look at what lies ahead, not behind. Acknowledge your past but do not be confined by it. Don't let your past be the only story you tell yourself and others. Instead of attaching yourself to past mistakes, regrets, or missed opportunities, look back and find key takeaways and how you can use that as stepping stones to your future.


train tracks symbolising personal development and leading your life as a creator instead of a victim

This is how you acquire wisdom. The rearview mirror is small for a reason; it's the windshield that offers the expansive view.


Cut the Emotional Strings

So, one actionable step to transition from a victim to a creator is to cut the emotional strings that tether you to past events.


Here's how to do it:

  1. Identify Your Emotional Attachments: Reflect on your past and identify emotional anchors. These could be regrets, grudges, or unprocessed emotions.

  2. Accept and Acknowledge: Accept these emotions as part of your journey. They aren't baggage; they're your lessons.

  3. Reframe Your Perspective: View these experiences as stepping stones that have led you to this moment. What have you learned? How have you grown?

  4. Set a Clear Vision: What does your future look like? Define it. Create a vision board or write down your goals. This is your canvas.

  5. Take Small Steps: Start making daily choices and actions aligned with your vision. Small daily steps compound over time.


Once you've done this, start looking back occasionally to see how far you've come and celebrate your achievements. This is the fuel that keeps you going.


The Choice is Yours

The power to create your life lies within you. It's a matter of replacing old habits with new ones and focusing on aligning positive emotions with your future ambitions.


By choosing to be a creator rather than a victim, you pave the way for a future filled with purpose, fulfillment, and growth.


Your past does not define you; your choices right now in the present do.


P.S. Ready to escape the victim mindset and unlock your creator potential?


Get in touch with me for exclusive personal growth planning.


Until next time,


Oliver Bukasa

Mindset and Personal Growth Coach | Consultant



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